- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4:25 pm on September 4, 2018 by lesliehauser.
06/28/2018 at 9:43 pm #28555
All the protection has meant his comfort zone is not large enough? He loves organized chorus and theater activities and organized swimming and Boy Scouts. He just doesn’t know what to do unless it is organized for him. Even most social plans involve me more than what makes sense for a 13 year old. It has been good to see him using a check out counter on his own recently. He can shop at 7-11 alone now but not last summer. I am ready to push him to make a friend in the neighborhood by sending him outside. Although, most kids are at “camp”. Overprotection has not made him more motivated. I thought it was the right thing but I have a smart, unmotivated kid who still relies on me too much. I don’t know but between the iPhone and keeping my eye on him his entire childhood I am struggling.07/02/2018 at 3:23 pm #28609
Keep doing small baby steps! Don’t give up! Maybe have him help plan some meals and make a grocery list, then, when you go to the store, have him run and get some items by himself and bring them back to you, while you continue through the store. That way he learns the store better and will feel more comfortable in there on his own. Then have him help cook dinner, prepare lunches, etc. (: hope this helps a little. Keep us posted on how things are going! We’re here to support!
09/04/2018 at 4:25 pm #29305
- This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by littlered.
Agree that baby steps are worth it. For you and him!! My 10 year old has social anxieties like this bc I have often thrown up my hands and done it for her. Often her fear comes down to not knowing what to do if there is not a set script. You may ask your son why he is uncomfortable with these situations.
We practice by making her order food at a restaurant (she now knows she needs to speak up so the cashier or waitstaff can hear her). Now trying to push her to make her own social plans by showing her how to make a phone call (a huge fear of hers) or send an email/text from my phone identifying that it is her making the ask. She is learning that most other people react in normal ways helps and sees the natural consequence of, “no food if you don’t order” or “no sleepover if you don’t reach out.”
Last week she went with a friend after school and walked 3/4 mile to the cafe and ordered and paid for smoothies all on their own (with parental permission). The key was that she asked. She was so pleased with herself when she was successful! Builds up her confidence for the next visit.
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