Tagged: spouse relationship
This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by nicoler 4:51 pm on May 26, 2019.
09/25/2018 at 9:40 pm #29534
I’m all for free range parenting. My wife pays lip service to wanting to do it, but can always point to other parents who are the “real” helicopter parents. She also “encourages” me to watch them closely when I want to give them freedom. My kids are only 2 and 5 and my wife really isn’t horrible in this regard, but there’s a difference here between she and I and the kids are at an impressionable age.
No doubt we’ll never be perfectly in sync. I wonder…if two parents differ in style, will the kids land in the middle as far as independence, confidence, etc., or will one side sort of become the default. For example, I can imagine that if I give them lots of freedom and independence, their horizons will be expanded and they can’t really contract again. I can also imagine that they’ll default to the comfort of more protection. I’m sure it’s going to vary by child and in the details of the parents’ approach.
I’d be interested to hear what others think or know about this topic, or tips for dealing with differing styles between parents.10/04/2018 at 6:51 pm #29630
That’s kind of my situation as well, but my husband is on board – it’s more of my sister-in-law who watches our daughter during the week. We only have a 1 year old, but I have always believed in making sure parts of her day are self-directed. I try to allow her to wander and entertain herself without telling or showing her how to play with things or what to play with most of the time, because I think she should develop curiosity and play facilitation skills independently as much as possible. My husband is mostly good about it, though he definitely is more afraid of her getting little bumps when she is walking or trying to climb off of the couch or whatever. I’m a little concerned about my sister in law, though. She’s so, so sweet and good with our kid, but she definitely is constantly directing everything that happens. I just hope my daughter will still gain strong independent play skills, but they spend a lot of time together.
I am forever grateful to my sister in law for everything she does and for being so amazing with my daughter, but she definitely has a different idea of how to help kids gain skills and what skills to focus on.05/26/2019 at 4:51 pm #31817
Finances are none of my business, so feel free not to answer! But if I’m guessing correctly, and you pay her for watching your daughter, it might be that she feels guilty if she doesn’t “plan activities” like a more formal daycare would.
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