My Untracked Life

Natalie BeVier is a Freshman at The University of The South in Tennessee, who plans to study English and plays on the women’s field hockey team.

Last week I met with one of my friends from high school. We mostly caught up, sharing what was going on in our lives. Not too long into our conversation my friend mentioned how her parents had been overwhelming her with Life 360 check ins, as demands for photo evidence of where she was, and who she was with. She was spending exorbitant amounts of time defending herself to them and even felt her college experience was threatened as a result.

I nodded, acknowledging how horrible that must feel — how restricted and held back she must feel as a 19-year-old. But as much as I tried to sympathize, I was actually short on advice.

Growing up with four siblings was often as crazy as it may sound, but what simplified it was the way my family made it easy on all of us. Walking out the door we heard only one thing: “Remember who you are” my mom would say. Then my parents went about their day as us kids went about ours. We were allowed to explore and find adventure. We built forts, created our own imaginary worlds, and ran barefoot through the woods. If we got hurt, one of us would go find help and our parents were always there.. I don’t remember wearing a bike helmet, and by the time I was ten I knew how to drive a John Deere Gator. At 12 I was sailing by myself, and by 15 I was at boarding school.

My entire life I grew up being independent and making choices on my own. I knew what it was like to make mistakes and learn from them, which was sometimes quite painful. One time my cousins and I, unsupervised, decided to paint the entire floor of a big lodge at our summer camp red with acrylic paint to create a haunted house. Our parents soon discovered and explained what acrylic paint was. We all were asked to help sand and re-finish the entire room. I learned then that our choices, which came with freedom, held consequences. Ultimately, I grew up exposed to the outside world and its dangers, but also its beauty and opportunity. I learned to be curious and brave in everything I did.

As I got older, adventures like playing pretend in the backyard began to turn into, “I’m going to Emily’s house tonight,” and then, “I’m going to this party.” My parents trusted me and I felt the incredible joy and responsibility that accompanies that. Before I left the house my mom still always said, “Remember who you are,” and because of the

independence I was given, I did. I am sure that my choices and decisions have at times driven my parents crazy (like the time I ran out of gas and stranded myself on the side of the road despite their imploring me to fill up the tank before the light came on), and I know that they fight not to worry. And yet I think they are more concerned with me becoming my own, strong, independent person. That desire outweighs their fear.

While it is hard to know exactly how many parents use Life360, According to an article published by CyberNews last September citing a study done by a digital security site called All About Cookies, “80% of parents check their children’s location, including 54% who check it frequently. More than one in three parents actually do it without letting their children know.” With my friends in high school, more than half used Life360.

I was the exception. I have found as I have grown up that most of my friends with overprotective parents are more vulnerable than those without. My independence has been gained through every little scrape and bruise that my parents let me have. I have been empowered to make my own decisions, and I still do to this day. Now that I am an adult, and a freshman in college, I have learned so much already. I have made mistakes, found adventure, and explored because I was allowed to.

Today so many kids aren’t living full lives because they’re frozen with fear. My friend I caught up with is exhausted by the dance she has to do with her parents. How can she possibly begin to create an identity that’s her own? College is a place and time that’s meant to be explored just as childhood is. As parents, fear the worst-case scenario and justify their tracking and hovering, their child is unable to grow.

I am beyond thankful I was able to grow up without being suffocated and in the end, I will always come to my parents for help when I need it, and they will be waiting every time I do.

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