Blue Half Circle
Yellow Star
Blue Half Circle Right
Left Half Circle
Yellow Half Circle
Blue Half Circle
Yellow Stars

A Simple, Stunning Parenting Advice List from John Gray

By on

Read Time: 2 minutes

Today Let Grow got a wonderful note from reader Jennifer Bond, a Michigan educator and mom who’s passionate about giving kids more independence.

She sent us the list below. It’s by John Gray, who memorably noted that Men are From Mars, and Women are from Venus. Then he added that “Children are From Heaven,” the book this list comes from.

On curriculum nights, Jennifer says, she would always share this list with parents. Then they’d discuss the ways they were already building independence, “and it would turn into an open forum. I found this to be more beneficial than just going over the math program, reading expectations, etc. We talked about building skills to add to the ‘Adult Backpack,’ so that when kids left their house, they were ready to tackle life.”

That sounds like a well-rounded education. So, without further ado: The John Gray Parenting Advice list! And if you’d like to add any more points to it — or discuss the ones here — hop over to our Raising Independent Kids Facebook group where we’ll be awaiting you!

Children are From Heaven

By Dr. John Gray  (Pages 4-5)

  • Children cannot learn to be forgiving unless there is someone to forgive.
  • Children cannot develop patience or learn to delay gratification if everything comes their way when they want it.
  • Children cannot learn to accept their own imperfections if everyone around them is perfect.
  • Children cannot learn to cooperate if everything always goes their way.
  • Children cannot learn to be creative if everything is done for them.
  • Children cannot learn compassion and respect unless they also feel pain and loss.
  • Children cannot learn courage and optimism unless they are faced with adversity.
  • Children cannot develop persistence and strength if everything is easy.
  • Children cannot learn to self-correct unless they experience difficulty, failure, or mistakes.
  • Children cannot feel self-esteem or healthy pride unless they overcome obstacles to achieve something.
  • Children cannot develop self-sufficiency unless they experience exclusion or rejection.
  • Children cannot be self-directed unless they have opportunities to resist authority and/or not get what they want.

Comments are closed for this article.