Let Grow in The Atlantic: The Surprising Reason Kids Are Glued to Their Phones
Are kids on their phones so much because that’s what they love doing the most?
An explosive new Harris Poll finds that actually, what kids 8-12 REALLY want to do is hang out together in real life – with no adults hovering, and no screens.
They go online because that’s the only place they can still meet up with friends, play and have adventures and have fun without constant adult supervision. Being glued to screens is their DEFAULT not their DESIRE.
Which would you choose?
In an Aug. 4 Atlantic piece I co-authored with Jonathan Haidt (author of The Anxious Generation and a Let Grow co-founder) and Zach Rausch (director of the Tech & Society Research Lab at NYU), we discuss a survey we conducted with the Harris Poll that asked 500 kids ages 8-12 to pick their favorite way to spend time with friends.
The choices:
A – Unstructured play, like pick-up basketball, or exploring the neighborhood.
B – Adult-led activities, like ballet or soccer.
C – Socializing online.
Result?
It wasn’t even close! Kids desperately want to meet up in person – on their own! No tutus, trophies, parents or screens required – or even desired.
What kids want, we’re not giving them.
Basically, kids want an old-fashioned, Stranger-Things childhood! But the survey also told us that this is almost a pipe dream right now, because kids are rarely allowed any free, unsupervised time.
The poll found that:
- Most kids are not allowed to be without an adult in public spaces (street, park, playground, stores).
- Most have rarely or never walked around without an adult.
- Fewer than half of the 8-9 year olds have even been to another aisle at the grocery on their own.
- More than a quarter of the 8-9 year olds – and 1 in 5 of the older kids — aren’t even allowed to play in their own front yard!
So little time, so little freedom.
Our kids are growing up on lockdown.
Their childhoods are strangely adult when it comes to tech, and infantilized when it comes to real life. For instance, the poll found that more kids ages 8-9 have talked to an AI chatbot than have ever used a sharp knife.
You might think we blame “helicopter parents” for this, but we don’t. We blame the fears, social norms, and laws that have made micro-management seem like the only decent way to raise kids.
But is it? Kids are more depressed than ever, according to the Surgeon General. So are parents. Today’s childhood isn’t working well for anyone.
How kids are escaping boredom.
The saving grace for kids – and the thing driving adults crazy – is that one escape hatch beckons: The screen! Kids who have never bought a Hershey bar on their own can conquer entire kingdoms online, and talk with everyone from school friends to people halfway across the world.
We keep nagging at kids to get off their devices, but why would they? We give them so few real-life alternatives. They can’t walk around their own NEIGHBORHOODS without an adult? This stat held true in urban, suburban and rural areas.
It’s only when adults step back that kids step up. If we could hold our anxiety in check for a few minutes and let them have a smidgen of autonomy, kids could become engaged with the world outside their door. Nearly three-quarters of the kids in the survey agreed, “I would spend less time online if there were more friends in my neighborhood to play with in person.”
Kids want something wholesome. Here’s how to give it to them.
Obviously, technology is attractive. But kids have a strong, almost Darwinian desire to play and roam the way most of us did.
Let Grow is dedicated to making that kind of childhood easy, normal and legal again. Our free programs for schools and parents encourage real-world independence and free play. And the “Reasonable Childhood Independence” laws we’ve passed in 11 states affirm the right of kids to play outside, walk to school, etc., etc., unsupervised – without their parents getting investigated for neglect. It’s not fair to blame kids for being online when we don’t let them go almost anywhere else.
And so, our Atlantic piece says:
“If parents want their kids to put down their phones, they need to start opening the front door.”
Now is the time!
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