Beyond Fear: Raising Confident Kids in an Uncertain World

By Sumali Hewage, a volunteer from Temecula, California

As parents, nothing is more important to us than the safety and happiness of our children. We naturally want to protect them from any harm, and that’s a huge part of how we approach parenting. I recently came across a survey from 2023 that highlighted some of the biggest concerns we have. One of the top worries for parents is the fear of their child being kidnapped or abducted. That’s pretty intense! What’s even more interesting is that nearly half of the parents surveyed admitted they tend to be overprotective, while only a small number said they give too much freedom. About three in ten parents see themselves as somewhere in between.

Then it got me thinking—how do we, as parents, view the safety of our neighborhoods? This survey showed that 44% of parents are extremely or very worried about their child being harmed in some way, whether it’s being beaten up, attacked, or abducted. But we must remember that our experiences and backgrounds often shape these fears and perceptions. Different factors, like race, ethnicity, income level, and the type of community we live in, can all influence how we feel about our children’s safety.

It’s natural to want to avoid anything bad happening to our kids. So, we constantly look for information to help us create a safe environment for them. But sometimes, the information on which we base our decisions might not be completely accurate. It could be exaggerated, misrepresented, misinterpreted, or even outdated. It’s tricky, isn’t it?

Let’s break down what kidnapping really means. Under the federal definition, ‘Whoever unlawfully seizes, confines, inveigles, decoys, kidnaps, abducts, or carries away and holds for ransom or reward or otherwise any person, except in the case of a minor by the parent.’ Simply put, kidnapping is the unlawful taking or holding of a person, typically for ransom or reward. It doesn’t apply when a parent takes their own minor child. Thankfully, the U.S. Department of Justice reported that in 2013, the number of children who were missing significantly decreased compared to 1999. As estimated, in 1999, almost half of the cases involved runaways or children thrown out of their homes, and about one in ten were family abductions. The least common reason for a child going missing was nonfamily abduction, which accounted for just three in a hundred cases.

Even though these numbers are low, the thought of such tragedies happening to our children is heartbreaking. However, being overly protective isn’t always the best solution. In fact, overprotectiveness might unintentionally create an environment where children are less prepared to handle difficult situations on their own. Instead, we can empower our children by educating them and giving them the tools and confidence to handle challenging situations. As parents, it’s our responsibility to create healthy communities and safer neighborhoods where our kids can thrive. By finding the right balance between protection and freedom, we can help our children grow into strong, capable individuals and take care of one another.

Let Grow Here! If you want to dive deeper into this topic, make sure to check out the facts and research section of our website. We explore the risks vs. rewards parents face today when making tough decisions about their kids. You’ll learn everything from child safety myths to the criminal and neglect laws in your state, AND everything in between!