A Mom, a Movement, and a Play Club

Nicole Cooper is a dietitian who became a police officer. Not a career path you see every day! Now she teaches at a police academy in Northern California and is doing something else impressive: She started and runs a Let Grow Play Club at her kids’ public school!  

We caught up with Nicole to ask what she’d tell anyone else wondering how to give their kids more playtime.   

Then she happened to mention what happened to her kids and the cops on Christmas…oh my.   

And then she told us her great idea for easy, free-form summer fun. This interview has been edited for length and clarity:  

I read The Anxious Generation and recognized some of the behaviors in my 8-year-old, so I slowly decreased his screen time. I have a 6-year-old, too, and it all just made me think about how I was raised.  

So I went to talk to our principal about what he thought the school needed. He’d read The Anxious Generation, so it was super easy for him to get on board with a Play Club on Wednesdays.   

We started with 4 or 5 kids and now have about 22.  

I do.   

It’s really a step I want for my kids to have: better brain development, more resilience, and problem-solving techniques that come during unstructured play time.   

Patience. Conflict resolution.   

When a kid comes up to me with a problem they are having, one response I use a lot is: “Tell me how you are going to solve it?” Also, the Let Grow materials are really beneficial. I like the conflict resolution page.  

Ah yes! We explain the “Conflict Corner” idea developed by The P.E. Specialist. He lays out the steps kids have to take together when they’re arguing: Face each other, palms up, describe the issue, give a compliment… It’s a whole dance.  

We’ve used it about 4 times in 10 sessions. So, I see them solving problems. It’s a huge benefit, but it takes an act of stepping back on my part to NOT give them the answer. Let them figure it out. If I wasn’t there (like my parents weren’t in the streets to solve the issues when I was growing up), these kids would HAVE to figure it out. The Let Grow Play Club is a safe environment for them to do this. Kids don’t have enough recess time at school to learn these basic skills, AND most kids are put in very structured extracurricular activities. 

My kids really look forward to it. We go for about an hour and a half. It’s a perfect amount of time. I don’t even think my son takes a break half the time because he is in the “flow.”

They got some sticks and berries and made a campfire next to some tree stumps.  

Ha, ha, no. No, not a real fire. I have a few items I bring each week: red stacking cups, street chalk, and some monster trucks. The younger kids draw racing paths or draw art.   

They make up routines and use the stage area to put on shows. I also brought a Chinese jump rope and taught them how to do play, because that was something I remember doing as a child. 

And I have some paper and pens, so a lot of the kids do drawings and make notes to their friends. They kind of separate into different groups according to what they’re into, and if they get bored, they may change to a different area. It’s been interesting to see how they pair off and switch things.   

On Christmas, my kids asked, “Can we go to the park together?” My husband and I said yes, but the kids took it one step further and went from the park to the elementary school, and when they were crossing the street, somebody called the police.   

We got a call from the local police, and the officer asked, “Well, are they allowed to cross the street?” The question made me pause: Are two kids, aged 6 and 8, allowed to cross the street? Kids need to learn how to do this at their age to build independence, agency, and confidence. Why would someone call the police? So when they came home, the kids said that the cops had the lights and sirens on, which is ridiculous, knowing that’s a Code 3 call, meaning that somebody is in imminent danger…for crossing the road? A bit much.  

Let’s normalize kids walking across streets and playing outside with friends and siblings.  

And then they went out in the afternoon and went back to the elementary school –  

And a different concerned citizen called the police again, and the same police officer happened to still be on duty, recognized the description of my kids from earlier in the day, and called us again. And the officer was like, “Hey, are your kids out again?” So we told our kids, “From now on, if someone comes up and is concerned, show them your Let Grow Kid license. Tell them, ‘This is our phone number. Please don’t call the police.’”   

I am a person, a mother, I have a law enforcement background – I understand the concerns. But the third time, maybe six months ago, Sebastian went to the store to get some crackers, and when he got back to the house, there was a whole bunch of commotion. Somebody had called [the police] on him, and when the police asked if they could give him a lift home, my son said, “No, I’m not doing anything. I’m 7 years old. My parents know where I am, and I am allowed to be out here. I’m not getting into the back of your patrol car.” So, they followed my son all the way back home. I mean, I understand the worry from some parents in the community, but with that said, if there’s more kids like my son going out, being independent, showing maturity, learning new skills, it’ll be seen as normal. They’re just being kids.   

One of my son’s friends is more of an introvert. And my son is more of an adventurer. So he’s showed his friend how to go to the store, how to use a debit card to purchase some ice cream. It’s a great confidence booster for my son to teach his friend and vice versa, where his friend learns a new skill. The boys are now fully capable walking back and forth between each other’s houses. Fast forward to this summer: we are going to try out what I call “Friendship Camp.”  

I’ve enlisted three other boys in my son’s grade to have a full week of unstructured play time, where they can come and go between houses as they please. They will sort out what they want to do between soccer, 2-square, some screen time, or whatever else they think up! The parents have agreed to text each other when they leave one house to go to another. I’m sure we will have to fine tune some rules, but I want it to be similar to the Let Grow Play Club idea, meaning less rules, less structure, and more imaginative play.   

That is GREAT! A way to re-introduce an old-fashioned, make-your-own-fun summer!   You know, we can move the needle a little bit further in different ways, so that’s what I’m trying to do.