Is this happening by you? One mom writes:
Good Morning! Having been to two kids' "meet the teacher" and "meet your locker" things, I have a thought. Why?.I don't ever remember my parents at my school. Not saying that other extreme is great either, but the complete mayhem at both of the events I went to yesterday was ridiculous. Why do I need to take my 11-year-old to his locker and show him how it works? (It actually wouldn't open and he will have to wait for them to fix it.) Why can't my 8-year-old get off the bus at school and find her class, like I did at 6?.Her teacher doesn't need to know me personally the first day. The traffic and stress involved is absolutely unnecessary. Why are we doing this to ourselves?.I basically know: We are all afraid of being a bad parent, bad school, whatever. But under the surface, why? Why do so many feel their child can't even ride the bus? The traffic line I was in this morning (my child is out of busing route) was insane..I wish we were more confident in our skills as parents to provide our children with the independence and responsibility we were taught when young. I wish we would let go of the societal pressure against even letting our kids wait in the car while we run in to pay for gas. Why do I have to get my 11-year-old, 8-year-old and 3-year-old out of the car for that?.It's become so stressful just to be a parent these days. Everyone always second-guessing each other and their choices. Anyways, it was just a question..Oh wait! As I dropped off my son for his first day of middle school, I had to watch two women laboriously get out of their car to hug their quite older children off for their first day. Both of those girls had to be 8th graders. I'm not advocating no love, but really? I said, "I love you, have a great day, if you get frustrated with your locker, just ask for help. Now run cause you're late! Bye!" Wow.
Her question, in other words, is why are we treating going off to school like going off to 'Nam?
Because we have been trained to and, in some cases (school rules, social norms), forced to. Everything in our culture reinforces the idea that if a little is good, more is better, and that has even seeped into our parent-child relationships. If a smile is good, a "Good job, buddy! High five!" is better. If drop-off is good, going into the school is better.
But so is letting our kids know that we think they can handle some things on their own. That demonstrates love, too.
Remember that if you feel guilty waving goodbye and driving off. - L.