HOW CAN I HELP MY ANXIOUS CHILD?
We’re experiencing an uptick in parents asking us, “How can I help my anxious child?” That’s not surprising, considering the stats:
- According to one study, nearly a third of adolescents suffer from an anxiety disorder.
- In a CDC survey, 32% of teens reported persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness. The CDC also notes that 7.1% of children aged 3-17 years (approximately 4.4 million) have been diagnosed with anxiety.
- And of course, our own Let Grow co-founder Jonathan Haidt has written an international bestseller, The Anxious Generation, chronicling the issues of the day.
So how can parents help?
One idea: Give your anxious child more time to play.
Kids face a lot of pressure from adults at home and in school. Peer pressure is an issue too, and social media keeps it going 24/7. That’s a lot for kids to face on a daily basis. Meantime, parents are fed a steady diet of fear-inducing media, making us more anxious, too. We’re anxious, our kids are anxious – it can become a vicious cycle.
One of the biggest problems, though, is that in our desire to keep kids safe and productively occupied, we have taken away a natural depression and anxiety buster: free time for free play.
In play, the external pressure is off.
When kids play, the only pressure is to keep enjoying what you’re doing.
If you’re playing a competitive game, that’s up to you. The score does not go on your permanent record. And if you’re playing with three balls instead of one, or everyone has to play on tippy toes just because it’s wacky, that’s up to you, too. You’re free to be goofy, to concentrate on something other than school, to be with your friends, to be creative, and to be someone other than solely a student or Instagram account.
But the reality is that today, many kids are so over-scheduled, they never have a moment to themselves. Does your child have some time just to play? Maybe without a screen?
Try it for yourself.
If not – and you’d like them to – here’s a simple way to make play happen:
First, find a friend (or two) willing to do this seemingly radical, totally developmentally normal activity with you. You’ll give each other moral support, and it’s more fun for the kids, too. One reason kids don’t run around outside is because when they look out the window, they don’t see anyone to play with.
Next, tell the kids what’s up: You and your friend(s) are giving them some FREE TIME outside, with each other but without you there. What would they like to do?
They don’t have to be super specific, and you don’t need an exact itinerary. And, of course, whatever they start doing will change as the minutes go by – that’s great! But if you want to get the wheels turning, here’s a list of ideas – 250 of them!
Next? Start drinking!
A cup of coffee, that is, as you and your friend(s) sit in the kitchen and send the kids out together. Give them a watch and tell them when to come in (and when not to—” Not until the big hand reaches the 12!”). If you expect them to go far and want some backup, consider a walkie-talkie. It’s classic and fun!
When they return, plan to do it again. And again. Every time they do, they’ll feel less anxious and more confident. And you will too.
If you need a little help, get our free https://letgrow.org/joinIf you’d like your SCHOOL to get kids playing this way, here’s where they can get our free Let Grow Play Club implementation guide.
PLEASE SEND US A STORY after you try any of this so you can inspire some other parents and kids! Drop an email to [email protected] and it will get right to us!
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