Children, Entertain Thyselves!

Want your kids to entertain themselves? Of course you do — so read on! This practical post comes from Laura Wyatt-Smith, a speaker, coach, and mom in London. Her book Screensaver: A judgement-free guide to your child’s first smartphone just hit the shelves! 

Hi All,

I am an admirer of Let Grow, so it’s a pleasure to connect. 

I, too, am changing the culture of our street with regards to children’s play. I’m inspired by my own upbringing where we played on the street all day and simply hung outside the house of the friend that we wanted to play with until they came out, which they almost always did! 

I wanted to get as close to recreating that culture as I could despite the fact that I live in central London, on a very un-child-friendly street, with cars flying down it, unlike the relatively safe cul de sac I’d had. I also wanted to get some time back for myself as a parent by enabling my kids to play with peers with minimal effort from me to arrange or facilitate.

It’s pretty simple really: I proposed a new arrangement between four households with similar age elementary-aged (we call them primary-aged) children to have an ongoing free play policy with a few basic rules. It works like this:

In an ideal world they would play in the street. But given our road issue, this is an achievable compromise. It means the kids can socialize in groups and at least walk to and from one another’s houses to have a bigger roaming range, instead of being stuck home alone, or requiring a parent to take them out. Sometimes our 8-year-old will walk to the corner shop to buy groceries or treats, but that would be with adult permission first.

No phones are involved (my 11-year-old owns a basic brick phone but she doesn’t even take it and none of the others, who are all younger, own one) and it often results in almost all-day play dates / hang-out sessions, which has developed their relationships, independence and confidence, and also frees up the parents time to do as they wish! 

It can have other benefits too. At the last “playdate” my 11-year-old and her 10-year-old friend ended up preparing several batches of fishcakes for me to freeze for midweek meals because they wanted something to do, I needed that to be done, and they were happy to take the job off my hands!

On a side note, our eldest daughter is quite an experienced cook now and often cooks family meals. This is because we have given her a lot of freedom to practice in the kitchen. I mention this as I think independence is often framed as “going out,” but in my view it can often involve giving them freedom and trust to try hard things closer to home – like handling chefs’ knives, boiling water, ovens, and gas stoves. My younger daughter, who is now 9 (but has been doing this for years) is quite a competent gardener because we have bought her own-sized real equipment and taught her how to use a lawnmower and how to prune plants properly using decent shears, etc. 

I would definitely encourage parents to give their children more opportunities to practice real world skills, using real world tools like these, first with supervision and instruction, but gradually releasing responsibility. This may not be rocket science but it’s also not often done in my experience and parents are missing out – running around after kids, who could be contributing to the household while having fun!

 My interest in this area is both personal and professional. Last year I spent a month in California, including Silicon Valley, on a Churchill Fellowship to study the relationship between smartphones and children’s mental health. (For background, this is a prestigious legacy scheme set up by Sir Winston Churchill. Tim Gill has also completed one!) And now my first book is coming out: Screensaver: A judgement-free guide to your child’s first smartphone, which gives parents practical advice to help them support and educate their child with that modern milestone. 

I am also the London lead for Unplugged Village (connected to the Global Day of Unplugging) and a Trustee for Working Families, the UK’s charity for working parents. I do talks in schools about smartphone culture and coach professionals on work-life balance too.

I’ve shared Let Grow’s materials and website with so many peers over here, I’m delighted to share my experiences with your readers. 

Let Grow here: Love these ideas for getting kids out into the real world, making their own fun! If you’d like more ideas, check out our free program, “Four Weeks to a Let Grow Kid.”