Remember When Kids Knocked on Doors to Go Play Outside?

Our summer webinar was titled, “Why Kids Need a Pack, Not a Playdate.” The idea was that playdates are usually short, sweet, organized and overseen by parents. Whereas a pack is a group of kids you can pal around with independently, making your own fun and growing up in the way we believe happens most during unsupervised time. “When adults step back, kids step up.” Here’s a mom who noticed that happening in her own kid’s life:

Dear Let Grow:

I am incredibly lucky that my daughter has a “pack.” We live on a block in south Seattle with two rows of townhomes (close proximity!) and lots of kids! 

The kids really started playing together outside during the pandemic and have never stopped. The main group now ranges in age from 6 – 12 (my daughter is 12), and are joined occasionally by playmates as young as 4 and as old as 15! 

When they first started playing together during the pandemic, parents stood around chatting and basically only interfered to say, “Stay 3 feet apart!” Once that was over (that goodness!), the kids played outside independently.

Play typically starts with one kid knocking on all the doors on the block to see who’s available and the pack gathers from there! The kids know to stay on the block and ask if they want to go across the street to a small park or walk a couple of blocks to a bigger park.

They sometimes play in the alley between the 2 rows of townhomes and hop from yard to yard, but they mostly love to play on the front sidewalk that consists of an excellent climbing tree, a grassy area for all sorts of games and creations, and sidewalks for sidewalk chalk. 

As I write this, the pack just pulled cooking supplies (old pots, pans, plates, utensils that I bought at Goodwill) out of our shed and are having a “cooking competition” on the front sidewalk! (I can’t see the front sidewalk, but can sometimes hear their joy!) They “cook” the best mud pies and cakes with leaves, flowers, and other nature goodies they find in the neighborhood. 

Another parent once gave them old 2x4s (nails removed!) that they loved creating a “house” with. My daughter came home the other night so excited to tell me about a new game the pack had made up with a bat and volleyball. They also like to ride bikes, rollerblade/skate, ride scooters, and put on plays during the summer for the parents. 

I used to go outside to tell her it was time to come home, but once she was able to tell time (on an analog watch!), I stopped doing that. Now we negotiate a time for her to be home. She’s usually only a few minutes late! 

On another note, she recently learned how to ride the city bus! She and a friend took the bus after school to a local bookstore to hang out. If it wasn’t for Let Grow, I wouldn’t have even thought to let her do that until she was probably in high school or maybe not all! 

Oh, I forgot to add that she doesn’t have a cell phone or a smartwatch. She knows my and my husband’s cell numbers. We have plans in place for what she can do in an emergency to contact us — borrow a cell phone, use a local shop’s phone, etc. 

Thank you so much for all you do!